I never hide the fact that I hate being pregnant. I don't like the way it makes me feel physically and emotionally and I for 9 months I felt on hold. While new life was growing inside of me I couldn't help but feel stagnant, waiting for a stage to end so another could begin..so that I could begin. Every week was one tiny step closer to the birth of two people. I looked forward to that time and so while other moms I know were laping up the symptoms and mile stones of pregnancy, I was counting down to the moment where I could have myself, in it's entirety, back.
I have myself back now. Body different, soule wiser, hands kinder, patience longer, ambition stronger.
So what to do with myslef now? So much but I'm not making excuses for myself any more. I have a new outlook on life, one where sometimes I come firs and a view that attempts to see the entire picture..not just one detail. It's so empowering to know that I am finally at the point in my young life where I am ready to make a change. Before ideals of change were romantic and seemed so easy but now with the age that two children and a husband puts on my heart, I am aware that life isn't so easy. But I am willing to rise up to the challenges I have made for myself because as we all know..change doesn't happen in a person unless they are ready. Well, I'm standing on top of my own mountain, arms spread and screaming, "I am ready!"
Ready for what you may ask? Well, it's easy to write out a list but I hope that my blog will be a true representation of what I am doing.
-M